Josh and Keri

As a christian how many times are you asked this question. The challenge always comes when they come back asking about all the tragic things in this world.

What if we could help them see a smaller world? Why are we as humans so self centered some times. I can not answer how God works in the tradgedy of life, but I can show people how he works in my life. What if I make it a point to write down every single time I see or hear God in my life. A bit much…Perhaps. So how about one story to begin with?

You notice God in the big things right. Times of trials and hardships when you cry out to him with all you have inside of you begging him to just understand and safe you from this from this world.

Yesterday I was blessed to by his works in such a small way I almost missed it. For two weeks now I’ve missed all my friends and family. People I used to talk to everyday and not only talk to once in a while. I missed the friendships with those who shared my faith and could truely speak to the inner most parts of my heart when I was in need. I missed being surrounded by those who spoke truth and not lies. And while I may have told a few friends how I greatly missed them no one knew the depth of my pain. Not even I.

I forgot to pray. “You may ask HOW is that possible??? Don’t you know when you need something you should always take it to God on your knees……Come on Keri how long have you been a christian???” I didn’t even know I needed anything….I just thought that was life. I thought I just needed to be more proactive in finding friends myself. Which I have no problem doing….but non had shared my faith and that left a lonely feeling. So what is this all getting to?

Last night, I stood talking to a co-worker, who is a Jewish follower. We talked of faith and giving to others and having a heart for people. In talking she mentioned her neighbor who was a “Born Again Christian.” And the most giving lovely person she ever knew. We kept talking and both of us just had this incredible feeling that I had to meet this woman. I passed along my phone number and now I wait for a call to meet this woman.

In that moment I was filled with such hope and just this incredible knowledge of knowing I was being taken care of……even though I never knew I needed it.

Christ encourages us to pick our friends wisely. Not only so that we will not stray away from truth…..but so that our Needs may be fufilled. If you seek you shall find…..and sometimes even when you forget to seek…..God may come knock on your door with help!!!! What an amazing God I serve, who would know my needs and desires before I even know them. And not only that he would know them…but that he would provide for them!!!!

These are simply my thoughts. But I’m amazed at how God works sometimes, and I know that is not a fluk thing. But that God is truely working in my life and providing for my needs.

I love you God and thank you for all you do for me each and every day. PRAISE THE LORD ALL MY SOUL!!!!

Being goofy

This is me now

To tell ones story, openly and honestly is to bring truth into the light, and make Satan’s hold broken! I share my story openly with you, because not only do most you deserve the truth, due to all the love you given me, but because I believe that everyone can learn from someone else’s story.

As most of you know, I have an eating disorder. At 17 years old I was at my highest weight of 170lbs, at the time I didn’t realize it but I was on several different medications that caused me to gain weight rapidly. In high school, I was the funny, dramatic, outgoing one….but never the pretty one. I was told by several people I would never date unless I lost some weight. Luckily that was not the most important thing to me in high school. So what was the changing point? I think it was the moment my father kicked me out of his house for reasons that seem so silly. In that moment I placed reality in two lies, one that I would never be good enough, and two I had no control over things.

I believe that those two lies were embedded in my mind and became my greatest ali. The first steps I took towards losing weight was going to Meijer and buying huge bottles of Ephedrine riddled Diet Pills. I started taking them and found a whole new energy. I started a new eating regimen, with an instant breakfast milk dring, half an apple and half a yogurt for lunch, and for dinner half of whatever was made. I went to the doctors and demanded to be taken off all the meds. With in a period of five months I dropped 40lbs.  And felt great, I started getting this whole new attention and I felt great about myself, and I had one thing I could control.

I took at the most 3 diet pills 3x a day and at the worst was only eating dinner. This process lasted through the last half of my junior year and my entire Senior year. A lot of lies were told, but mostly to myself, I hurt a lot of people I loved, and caused others to worry.

Going off to college you hear about the freshman fifteen, and to someone who had worked so hard to lose weight, that was a terrifying thought. I went on crash diet before college and at my smallest was 105lb. I thought this was perfection and would have been elated if I had reached 100.

Once at college Ephedrine was taken off the market due to it’s link in heart attacks. I was furious, now what was I going to do? I rested for awhile, and tried new diet pills, but none seem to work quite as well. So eventually I turned to Laxatives. It took a while to get the hang of them and to keep them a secret, but I was a fast learner. I soon learned to take them at night so as to go undetected, and if those whom I did live with ever had questions, I’d just tell them I didn’t feel well. Sometimes it was the flu, sometimes it was cramping, and some times it was “food poisoning.” I would take about 3-4 everyother night. I was a great way to maintain my weight and yet eat foods I liked.

So where am I today? Magically cured!!!!!! No, but much much better. I have been clean of all laxatives and diet pills for over a year now. A lot of hard work has gone into that. A lot of counseling and a lot of tough choices.

 Since moving out to the east-coast, I’ve invested in seeing a Nutritionist and personal trainer, to help me re learn how to care for myself. To counter the lies about food and health. I’m proud to say that not only have I been clean from those meds, but I’ve been eating five to six small meals a day, and I’ve gained 13lbs. I’m now a healthy weight of 133lbs. Praise God!!!!

I truely believe that any person who suffers from an eating disorder should seek help from a nutritionist. They are like a doctor who offers correct medicines that can offer a cure. My Nutritionist has offered me the tools to see truth. I see her on a weekly basis and she helps me to realize a healthy weight and healthy food habits.

Everyday is a new battle with food everywhere, but with professional help, a God who stands by me through the worst of times, and a family who never lost hope. I continue to view life differently. My new goal is to be healthy not stick thin.

It is sad the message our society teaches young women today. It is not just the message that being thin is the only beauty in the world. It teaches young people today that being thin is power, fame, and riches beyond belief. Most of societies rich and famous are harassed for being to thin and yet mocked for have a little meat on their bones. They are glorified and given power and riches for being the perfect size to sell a product. Instead of promoting health we promote perfection. We can change the world one person at a time. I will take a stand to promote health, not beauty or fame or power. I am one person, and with Christ in me stronger then a thousand. These will not be my last words, but something to start with.

Thanks to everyone who loves me.

Keri

So, I realized today as I drove home from work and my thoughts flew from one topic to another….that the Hormones are winning the battle!!!!!

Driving down the road listening to a CD full of praise and worship, I felt eladed to be a child of God. And the next minute I would focus on all my inadiquicies. Some would blame Satan, saying that he is winning the battle. I would argue agains that for many reasons. I’ve experienced a lot of what Satan has to offer this world. The cruelty at the hands of others. No, I would venure to say it is something else, more profound. Reality.

I’ve always been real about my faith. It is the most important thing in my life. I love my husband and I love my family….often more then I love myself, But ultimetaly I love God. He owns my life and my heart. But that does not mean that things between us are going well. 

For the last few months, I’ve battle chronic pain and the reality tha carrying my own children in my womb may not be a reality. For months I’ve agonized over what to do, what road to take? Do I do the Hormones, Do I have surgery?? Time and Time again I would hand all my worries over to God…and in return I expected this great spiriual awakening. I expected God to open my eyes in a whole new light…that I would become this amazing testimony of his Love, Grace, and Joy. When that didn’t happen I was devistated. Hurt, angry and mad…..AT the ruler of the universe I know not the smartest choice.

I would lay in bed at night feeling so alone, and yet know that there were thousands just like me out ther.

With in the last few days, A new though has lingered in my mind. Why I choose to share this with you I’m not quite sure, but it is me. I began to think of the verses in the Bible that refer to Christ as the Bride Groom, and us as his Bride. It struck me slightly funny how Romantizied that Idea has become.  It sounds so pretty on paper doesn’t, or through the voice of a preacher….calling us to be his beloved. Now I’m not trying to say that this isn’t an amazing revelation….on the Contrary. If you take it out of the Romanisized context, you can see something all together different.

I do not think it random that Christ used this relationship to illistrate his relationship to us. I do not think I am the first to have these thoughts either. I feel like often in churches today if you are not on what I would call a “Spiritual High” then in the eyes of many you are not where you should be. It becomes and addiction does it not? A hunger that can consume your thoughts….I’ve been there often….thinking “why am I just a bad christina? Why don’t I FEEL Christ?”

Being a Bride and a Groom lasts for one day, the planning takes many months…the Marriage every single day. There is a verse in Ephesians that I can not quote for sure (my Bible is in the car currently, I know how awful….but this verse is in my heart, not word for word, but the meaning lives there) The verse is in regards to Isreal being cast aside by everyone in the world, completely left alone to die. Then Christ walks by and sees that they are ready for Love…..He wraps his cloack around them, and declares, ” I will enter into a covenant with you, you have become mine.” That covenant will last a life time. In marriage there are times, when you are content, as is that not okay? Are you not saying to the one you committed your life to that you are completely comfortable? I’m not trying to say that you stay in this place with Christ…but that maybe, just maybe it is okay every now and then.

I love it when in the rough times all your friends declare, “It is okay to be mad at God!!! Let it out.” I have no extreme emtion towards my groom at this point in life. I am content to sit and quitely rest with him. I’m tired of seeking, I need to rest. I do not need the drug of Spiritual Elation (not that those feelings are enirely bad, only when you become dependant on them to produce your identity) All I need to is know that as a christian, at times it is okay to feel disconnected, tired and out of fight. I just want to be married, share my thoughts, and continue my walk.

I’ve been through alot with God, I’ve struggled with some very real religious questions, and my views are constantly changing and being challenged. But one thing that will never change is this, I gave Christ my heart a long time ago, it belongs to know one else. I share it with my husband, my family, and my friends. But it belongs to him, and I do not fear his lull (if you will) in our relationship. I stand contenat to rest in order to strong for the next battle to come…..And it will come.

Well those are my thoughts, I apologize if this upsets you or don’t agree…I welcome comments, but please know, my goal and my gift in life is being real.

See I was not kidding

I took a lot of pictures of Horses so Josh will buy me one some day.

Another big City pic

New Hometown

More funGot to make you feel safe!!!!

I have yet to see a Star Wars movie all the way through

Hey Friends,

Well you’ve asked for more pictures and I will oblige! All the pictures I’ve uploaded are from our adventure into the city for the Boston St. Patty’s day parade…..and let me tell you all, you’ve never smelled so much beer in your life!!! The parade was fun, but there were a ton of people and a ton of Alcohol….Josh and I are here to proof you can have fun with out that stuff!!!! We had a blast going into the city and watching the parade. Although I must admit that we thought it would be a bit more…..shall we say fast paced like the rest of the city. The parade was supposed to start at 1pm on Sunday. Shortly after one we got a preview with a heard of Fire Engines, The Bomb Squad, The Hazmat team, and a ton of other Law Enforcements. After they all passed, lets just say we got a little worried when the rest of the parade didn’t show up until an hour and a half later…..So what do you think, were they part of the parade????? Or was something else going on????

Aside from our fun at st. Patty’s day. Life out here is going quite well!!! WE are loving having so much to do all the time. Josh is hard at work at school. He has started a few new projects that he is loving working on. He is currently working on a lab involving building a database to help look into the causes of skitsophrinia, and he is also working with a machine to program it to recognize certain diseases. He is pretty excited about both of these projects which is fun. Josh is also enjoying the taste of real food once again!!! Last week we went to the North end of Boston and ate cheap pizza and got Italian pastries from the most famous pastry shop in Boston, called Mikes Pastries. You will all have to go there when you come to visit.

We are currently looking into the possibility of a buying a condo out here. I know that may make some of you a bit sad….the truth hurts…we will  be out here for a while huh?? The good news is that it will be closer to work, and once we get a condo we might even get a Dog!!! I know, I hate dogs but last year my sister in law got the cutest dog ever. His name is chip and I will have to put some pics up for you all to see….but get this he is a Boston Terrier, and now I want one!!!! So we will have three pets, a cat (the other love of my life!!!!), a snake, and a dog. But I keep telling Josh it is a process you see, we from a cat which is a some what of a responsibility, you have to feed it and clean the Kitty litter. To a Dog, a bit more responsibility, feeding it, walking it, playing with it, etc. To a baby, which is um a TON of responsibility. He he he and as much as we both love kids and look forward to having some of our own some day…..we uh are um yeah just not ready now. I’m rather enjoying exploring our new home town by ourselves.

One last paragraph and I promise to stop boring you all. As many of you may know, I’ve suffered from some medical problems for quite some time that cause me to be a in a bit of pain. I had surgery last summer which for a while seemed to help. Recently I’ve been in ER and Hospitalized several times in the last month or so. Tomorrow I have an exciting appointment with the Pain Clinic in Boston. I will be receiving what is called a Nerve Block in order to stop the pain. Please pray for us, as this has been a long rough road of countless Doctors appointment, horrible procedures, and some interesting medicines. (on a side note, I tried acupuncture last week and it was um interesting….Lots of needles) So we ask for your prayers and thoughts. And we thank you for loving us through it all and taking the time to read about our life’s.

Love you all and miss you terribly.

Keri

Hey Friends,

As you all can plainly see but I shall point out to you anyways, this is our first post on our blog!  We’ve  come to the conclusion that so much happens out here with out that you all miss so we decided to keep you all updated via new technology.

Since moving out to the Boston area so much has happened in our lives, probably the biggest is that the Red Socks won the world Series and Keri suddenly became interested in sports and begged for Red Socks gear.  And in sticking with the Sirit, she also dyed her hair in spupport of the RED socks!!!  Before we moved to Boston, Keri was convinced that she would HATE Boston no matter what it took. However, one trip to the Theatre District for our one year anniversy was too much for her will to handle and she fell madly in love with the city. Okay so I wouldn’t go that far, but she is loving the fact that there is not a single corn field in sight.

Josh is exploring the medical sciences in many aspects in the area. He not only is working in labs and going to classes for his grad degree, but he also willingly signed up for a Vitamin K study. He volunteered to stick to a strick diet for two months. The general consesus is that only Josh could eat the same three meals for two long months. The good news is that as of tomorrow morning at 9am, he is a free man. We plan to live up the city life, by venturing into the infamous North End in Boston, MA. For those of you who may not know this is the THE place to go for Authentic Italian eating. We plan on making sure any and all vistors from the midwest will get to experience the best of the North End on their stay on the east coast.

So we shall end this short summary of our eight months on the east coast.  There will be more to come and plenty pictures so that when we come back you will still know who we are and what we look like. I know we are hard to forget, but we want to make sure the world Does revolve around us. he he he okay just kidding. We miss you all and can’t wait to see you again.