Josh and Keri

the city

I like this one

The Duck

He he he

Kelly and Josh in the subway

Elephant ears

Lobster!!!!

Me And Kelly

Hey Friends,

So as some of you know two weeks ago I had my third and final nerve block in efforts to keep the endo pain at bay, however, it ended up creating a whole new nightmare. I had the procedure done on a Thursday and on Friday afternoon I was in ER in excruciating pain. I ended up staying the night in ER on heavy pain medication. I Took the week off of work and saw the dr the following wed. The dr explained that sometimes during the proceedure the medicine can leak out in the muscles and because they are using steriods to block the pain when it gets in the muscles it can cause extreme pain. So she wrote me a note to keep me out of work for the rest of the week and perscribed several other pain medications.

Kelly ended up coming out this on Saturday which was so good for my moral. We went into the city on Sunday and had fresh Lobster for only $10 dollars….yes yes I know you are all jealous and you should be. This is what you could have if you came to see me!!!! A whole lobster to yourself!!!! Then we went shopping on our Mass Tax Free Holiday weekend and ended up getting a set of jewlery that was regularly priced at over $200 for only $18!!!!! How great is that. On Monday we went to a local farm and got fresh peaches for peach cobler….and Homemade gellato……SOOO GOOD!!! Then we went back into the city and took a duck tour around the city and on the Charles River which was fun. It was a good way to see the city and get some history in as well. After that we went to a local greek resturaunt and tried new and exciting foods! Kel and I wish we had ordered something completely different but what we had was good. On Tuesday morning we made our peach cobler and sadly Kelly had to leave the good Northeast. But we had a blast and it was sooo good to see family. Always so refreshing. It is amazing how you can miss people so much!!!

Pictures are soon to come but you will once again have to wait until I’m at home and upload them!

So this has been a quick update from yours truly….he he he

My friend Corrine and I

thats us

ummmm I don’t think this has any words

I thought it was a real horse…what can I say

This one is for my mom

This was Josh’s idea…enough said

Getting a new hat

Our snake Copper…..Look how long he is

So today is the one year anniversary of our arrival in to Massachusetts! And they love us out here. We are learning to use words like “wicked” and “fresh” (and no that does not mean that the food is fresh out here…it means being sassy, weird I know that’s the northeast for ya). True to my southern roots of the Lee Family….I still say “Ya’ll” all the time and get made fun of all the time! I still crave sweet tea and love fresh water over salt water!

One year ago today, josh and I along with my mom and his parents, drove up in front of a big Yellow house…thinking “I drove in the car for 17 hrs for this????” Upon entering the small apartment (all five of us) we realized how small our new world had become. We unloaded HALF of all our possessions in to the house (knowing that not all of our things would fit in the 600ft apartment.)

The next day we went out and explored the city. We took a tour by land and by sea! We saw where Paul Revere was buried (very unimpressive by the way), we saw where Mother Goose was buried (Very impressive by the way). We walked by the popular bar “Cheers,” and we ate fresh lobster (or Lobsta as they would say).

 After saying good bye to our beloved family, we realized it was just the two of us! Scary yes!!!! he he he. We spent the entire next month cooped up in our small apartment with out a  job or any money, there was not much to do. he he he. Soon there after I started a job at Sentient Jet. Which provides private jets for the rich and famous (And no I can not tell you who we fly). Josh started his first year of school and we struggled to make friends HA yeah right!

Anyways, since moving out to the northeast, I’ve learned many a new things. Such as Sports apparently they are big out here…..Go Red Soxs. I’ve learned a whole new language, who knew the work “Saw” could be pronounced “Sawer” Yes it really does happen….a lot! I have learned to take the subway by myself (this was a huge and terrifying experience for me). I have actually had the pleasure of visiting several of our good Northeastern ER rooms. (Don’t ask way to long of a story). I have learned that placing a chair in front of your apartment in the city means you are saving a parking spot for later. When you say the word “Wicked” you are not talking about Satan or the wicked witch of the west??? Who knew? I learned that they get hurricanes out here, although not often.  And most importantly…..I have learned to drive like a TRUE Big City Gal!!!!!

So one year down and four more to go. So what now???? I’ve learned a new vocabulary and how to cut people off on the road with just an inch of road between us. What could I possible do next.

Well we are looking in to buying a condo (I think I’ve said this before.) Anyways, that is it for now. Who knows what next year will bring????

I will post new pics prob on Sunday, we recent went to the zoo and hung out at the beach with some friends. So they are coming please be patient with me.

Love ya

Keri

Are you where you thought you would be?

At 23, 54, or 32?

And do you do the things you were meant to do?

Me? I thought I’d be single and fee

A midwestern girl discovering the World

But enters “love” and new mysteries

Then one foot in front of the other there you go.

Life brings a mix of this and that

Constantly turning the folded map

Are you where you thought you’d be

At 12, 45, or 63?

So friends and family, I thought I would give a quick update. And please know that there are more pictures to come, I just have to get them loaded on the computer so please bare with my procrastisism.

Josh and I are currently looking in to Buying a house/condo…..nothing like buying property to make you feel old. Well and we did both just turn 24 so you know, the wrinkles are setting in!!!!!

We havn’t found anything yet, and this whole move is totally in God’s hands. I will be cutting back some of my work hours due to my health….in efforts to help the pain. And Josh’s lab is still working to find funding for his research. So we are really leaving this up to the Lord. So please join us in prayer over this descion and we would greatly apperciate it.

Well that is really the big update for us. We look forward to spending the 4th of july in Boston!!! How cool will that be?

Love ya all,

Keri

Please excuse me while I continue to explore my faith and this new theory I’ve developed. 

Sometimes I feel like I have Bipolar Christainism……anyone else? Some times I look at the world around me and think “Wow what an amazing God who has created all this?” and I praise him like there is no tomorrow. The next day I realize all the hard crap I have to deal with, and I think, “What kind of a God would allow this much on my plate at one time?” I know like most Christians you are thinking…..”Well now Keri….this is not God’s plan it is Satan’s.” Hmmmmm okay, I see your point…..but please tell me the last time you felt overwhelmed and angry and your first thought was…..”oh well, this is just Satan’s plan….God has nothing to do with it.”  

Cause we’ve all been taught this….but we’ve also been taught that God has the power to, oh what do they say…..MOVE MOUNTAINS? When will the mountain I’m carrying on my back be moved? Anyone……I’ve got my mustard seed of faith I really do…. And yet nothing.  

So what brings about my decision that I have Bipolar Christianism? Well this morning while driving to work. I’m listening to my praise and worship CD, thinking to myself, “Self, you got to Praise the Lord in the time of your struggles.” So I’m listening and singing the songs, I’ve sung my entire life and one minute I’m like singing and happy only to find myself stopping to really think about the words. The song is this, “Blessed be the name of the Lord, blessed be you name, Jesus. You give and take away, you give and take away, you give and take away, Lord Blessed be your name.” So I stop and think AMEN. You gave and you are now taking away. Now my first thought was not, “Blessed be your name.” It was something quite different that I will not put on here!! I’m sorry but I’m a selfish Sinful person who hates it when things are given to me and taken away. How rude!!!!!!!!! I like things given to me and if I choose to give it away great, but I don’t want it taken away from me. I understand about death….I get that. But what about health or love? So really when was the last time you thought about the songs you were singing to the Almighty. Cause there are some I just don’t get!  

So does this make me a bad person??? Is there some type of Christian medication I should be taking, perhaps I should read the Bible more, or pray more, go to church more. Perhaps……but why then would people say Christ comes to you in the hard times if you are expected to “do more?”  

So here is what I’m thinking. Christianity in our society, is like a drug it’s self. We consider those who seem to have the “spiritual high” to be the “good Christians.” And those who seem content in faith to be lazy. There are highs and there are lows when it comes to faith. But then there are the times in faith, where every single day there is a new emotion. I think, while I call it “Bipolar Christianism,” I think it is being human. Profound? No but Honest? I think so. There are things in life that will move us to realize there is a God and he can do amazing things. There are things in life….that though you study the Bible, pray with out ceasing, tithe constantly, love your enemies, give of yourself to others….There are things in life that will cause you to say…. “If there is a God where is the hell is he?”  

Why is it as Christians, we feel the need to defend God….Isn’t he the All Powerful one? Are we so afraid he will fail to answer this question, that when a friend is in need, and hurt, and angry, we feel the need to pat them on the back and say, “It’s okay God is with you, he has a plan…..he is just testing your faith….you know like Job.”  

Or how about when a non believer stands up and asks this question we say, “oh they just don’t get it.” Lets be honest there are times in life…….when I, you, everyone….just doesn’t get it. 

Ever suffer from Bipolar Christianism? I do.  

I’m twenty four and have seen a lot in my few years here. I’ve over come great obstacles and I’ve sank in the depths of despair many times. Yet it seems as though nothing can compare to the obstacle before me. As a young girl I would hear stories about women unable to have their own babies and a sense of pity would arise. I never fully understood the complications this could cause for a woman or the trauma to her spirit. We always say adoption is such a noble option, which is true as can be, yet there is something to be said for the miracle of creating something so precious with the one you share you life with. There is something to be said for losing your sense of who you are as a woman if you are unable to have your own children. And you know that people look at you with the same pity you once had for others. We are raised to be care takers and to always put others before our selves. Which is what I struggle with now; I don’t want to let any one down. And yet I suffer. I go to doctor after doctor with no answers, no resolve, and no hope for relieve. I go through treatments that seem to work for a small period of time with many terrible side effects just to one day maybe…..just maybe be able to carry my own child. Is it worth it? Only a question I can answer and yet, at the same time I can not.I want to put others feelings above my own and be selfish all at the same time.  

In life you can sympathize with others and hold their hands while they walk through the rocky valley of life. But the truth is you will never understand what another goes through unless you have walked through the same valley with the same rocks and most of us rarely do. That is why you feel so alone when you stumble and crawl. God promises to be there “though I walk through the valley….” Yet at times I feel there must be a dense fog that keeps me from seeing him and loud thunder that covers his voice from my ear. I cry out time and time again………yet I can not hear his voice. Have my eyes been blinded? And my ears made deaf??? Jesus come for your lost lamb!!  

I praise you through my struggles….I don’t know how Oh God but some how I do. That my path in life may not be as bad as others, that my trails be not life or death, that my security is safe. I place songs of praise in my heart and I cling to the Voice I know I shall hear again.  

Which way do we go when we can not see the road????  Be Still and know that I am God. Be still and know…..

So lets just be honest shall well…..as this seems to be my motto for life. Life can suck even if you are Christian. I know a lot of you will say, “well Keri just have more faith.” or how bout “Keri, God has a plan for this. He will make you stronger or even help some one else.” And yes while these things may all be true…..it doesn’t mean life can’t suck.

For those of you have been following the story of my health, or have heard through some one else. I have been on a long journey for quite some time. I have severe chronic pain in my lower left abdomen from Endometriosis. I’ve had two surgeries to remove the Endo, and tried a variety of hormones to correct the problem. Unfortunately none of them have worked for me. Recently, I was given a Nerve Block by the Boston Pain Clinic and the first one back in March helped with the pain for about a month.

Last Wed. I went back to the Boston Pain Clinic for a second nerve block. However, the procedure was not as successful as the last time. There were several complications and I ended up in ER yesterday with chest pains from some of the medication they injected on Wed.

So once again, Josh and I feel as though we are at square one. Having to think about things that we should not have to deal with this early in life. We have two options and both are equally hard and have consequences that will effect the rest of our lives. We are not ready to be parents and yet we are not ready to give up the option of having kids of our own later in life.

So What Does God say to all this????????

Being a Christian does not mean life is perfect and nothing bad will ever happen to you. I think a lot of people get that perception of “Christians.” and I for one think it is sad. I am like everyone else, with my own set of problems, my own sins and terrible thoughts, and my own weaknesses. Just because I believe in an ALL Powerful God, does not mean I’m free from trouble. I wish sometimes that were true but not yet. he he he.

So where do we go from here. Who knows????? Any thoughts suggestions?

To be a woman today

Who knows quite what that means.

Pages of our an sectors seem to have clear answers

In Jesus’ time a woman leaned on her husband or son to provide.

Having no other means to live by

Condemned and stoned for being different

In the beginning of our country

A woman was to produce children and teach them each their roles in life

A son must be strong and take the occupation of the father

A daughter to learn to cook and clean

Swiftly changing the meaning behind a woman grows ever more

To care for others, a husband, a child, a friend, parent.

To clean a house that grows and grows

To feed your love ones

To teach other generations

To build a career higher and higher

To increase your knowledge

To give life to another human being

To stay size 0 as long as you can

With perfect hair, eyes, make up

Unable to conform to one of these things

Does this mean you are not truly a woman?

What makes one a woman today?

To each their own must answer this question

To debate and create.

What is a woman in your eyes?

What is a woman in God’s eyes

What is a woman in society’s eyes?

Does what a grandmother

A mother

A sister

A friend

Dictate what makes a woman?

To each their own.

Life is such an interesting dance eh?

It seems to me that the times I stop to anaylyze life is always in the valley of life. When things are tough and walking is hard, when standing up for what you believe in means being alienated, when relationships are strained. Those are the times I really sit and think about my life. Usually simply to say “Man My life sucks, Why is God picking on me?”

I used to sit and comfort myself by saying, “it will only make me stronger,” or “God has a plan.” And not to say that is not true. Hopefully most of us can see that God often can take terrible sitiuations to bring about miraculous things.

But instead I began to wonder if perhaps my habits of handling the “Down” times is all wrong?

Why do I only reflect in the hard times? Why can’t I step back in the good times and reflect on life? They may be short but not insignificant right? What if I could store all the good times in life to get me through the bad times?

I like reading… a lot! When I was in high school and things got complicated I would sit down and detach from the rest of the world in to a fantasy world. Now that may not be the best way to handle situations but it worked for a time.

So what if I combined those two things. Holding on to the good times in a book. Like Pollyanna when she would play the “Glad Game.”

Like everything in life I began taking baby steps to this new theory of mine. I began with a small journal. I can’t help but to know that at some point in my marriage there will be hard times. Coming from a divorced home that scares me, I may want to run. So I started by writing down all the good times, special times and just comforting times Josh and I have together. I figure that perhaps when the day comes that we can’t see eye to eye and we seem so at odds, I can open this journal and remember the Good Times. Perhaps this is just a faniciful thought, but may be it might just work. I might just sit down one night when my world/marriage seems to be falling apart I  can sit down open that book and be taken back. With those memories hold prayers and with prayers there are hope. When you can remember What to pray for you know what to Hope for.

Just a theory and we shall see how it turns out….but remember the good times in life. They pass too quickly we all know.  

So I was pretty much extremely bored at work today….and I already wrote a blog about what was on my mind……when I realize that my husband has yet to post a blog on OUR BLOG.

Let me just help him out a bit. As most you you know Josh did a Vitamin K study where he was only allowed to eat food that the Study provided for him. This lasted for Two Long months. About the time we started our blog the study came to an end.

Now Josh being the wonderfully smart person that he is….decided to start a blog to inform everyone just exactly and how much he ate during those few months. However, this included a lot of math. And not that Josh does not like math because in fact he does. But he started several project for school and was unable to complete his entry informing you all what he ate. Now while I’m sure you are all just busting at the seems to know what he ate and the exact amounts…..it may take awhile for him to provide this information.

So while I invade his blog and pretend to be him with out him knowing I am writing this…..he he he. I love getting away with things like this!!!!! I will simply tell you that the food he ate was NOTHING compared to my homemade cooking…..and boxed cookie mixes!!!!!

Perhaps one day you will hear from Josh himself……but now that i’m leagally his wife…..I can talk for him.

I don’t know when he will read this, but I bet it will be a while!!!!!

Okay so bye

keri