Josh and Keri

There she lay upon the hot moistened sand, in the dreadfully defeated ground. Her cheeks intimately coming to know the smell of evaporating hope, unprotected from the sun’s abusive hands.

 

Anyone passing by would have thought she had passed out from the gapping open wounds; the worst part may have been that she was still acutely aware of what was going on around her. The enemy’s soldiers were currently occupied with carrying out their general’s plan of defeat. Her helmet lay just out of reach over her head as though begging her to try for it. Her weapons and belt which held most of them, had been thrown Lord knows how far from her body. Clothes were ripped and exposed most of her torso, as her right foot held on loosely to the boot it owned. The precious shield she usually shook behind was just to her right, though she was not sure her arms could support the weight of now. Even if her muscles did not burn from the beatings, she was not sure her shield would be enough to get her off the battle field at this point. While her eyes remained closed she could sense her fellow soldiers were either wounded or none existent. Was she to blame for the separation?

 

 

 

 

Now I don’t know what it is like to be on the forefront of a battle field that is for sure. But if I had to imagine my own life as a battle for spiritual warfare at this point….I honestly believe I would be the character above.

 

I surrendered upon my knees this morning and threw myself before the Lord. Over some issues I was having at work. Deep with in the prayer where I was explaining to God my situation and how poorly I was being treated and how miserable I was, I saw a battle field. I watched as a lifeless body just laid there, with some armor spread all around them. Suddenly I remember the Music Camp I spent at my church where we learned this song about the ARMOR of GOD. I thought, “Weird.” I hated that song, and what could that possible have to do with me.

 

It is in those moments, where nothing makes sense and then all of a sudden it is so profound you wonder why you didn’t see it before, That you know it is God putting you face to face with the truth of who you are! He takes the time to figure out how to confuse you enough to get hold of your undivided attention…and just when you think you are going crazy he reveals the meaning behind the situation. Sound unbelievable? It is, but look it up. How many times did the disciples sit/stand before Jesus not only thinking he was crazy, but they might just be as well, before he spelled out the meaning behind each parable?

 

I realized in that small moment, that I was right where Satan has strategically place me on this battle field called earth. My armor was spread all about me just out of reach, and surely his demons could not have enough power to throw them away? No, I had slowly over the course of this battle, taken off my armor. Some how thinking I no longer needed it. I was in a new environment and I needed to fit, I might stick out if I wore it all the time. I would pick it back up if I needed it.

 

There lay my belt of truth along side my sword of the spirit just out of reach. My helmet of salvation was disillusioned by the self saving attitude I placed in my head. My vest of righteousness became a shade of grayness, and my prayers became none existent.

 

As I began to read the scripture that contains the truth of which pieces of armor are priceless. I thought perhaps it if I walked out my door that afternoon with the helmet or the sword I would be Good!!! Apparently I was more blind then I thought.

 

I read about how important the full armor was in order to concur anything. I set forth upon my march towards the meeting I was about to have with my managers about how “Wronged” I was. And I prayed. I prayed for the entire drive to work. Half way through the drive, I realized something…I was only trying to pray. For the first time in my life I felt as though I fully understood the meaning of having two sides of your brain. The Left side, was praying and trying to convince God I was a good person and listening to praise and worship cd I had in my car. The Right side of my brain was in the process of “Enacting” how my meeting would play out with the managers. I was planning what I would say, then how they would respond and then what I would say next.  I know what you are thinking and yes, I am multi talented.

 

I stopped…mainly because I was at a red light. But I stopped, I turned off my music and I began to pray out loud for the devil and God to hear both. I said, “God, I have to surrender to you. These ‘discussions’ never end up the way I envision them going on my head.” I began to pray heavily asking God to help me surrender to him this issue…this
Battle if you will. At that moment I was again Transported back in time to my early years of faith. I was suddenly standing in my old church looking at the big screen during praise and worship. I remembered this song about how “The Battle Belongs to the Lord” Now I could not say for certain how long it had been since I had sang….let along heard this song. Suddenly my mouth opened and I sang in the right melody, “The battle belongs to the Lord.” And I didn’t stop there I continued, “When the enemy presses and darkness surrounds, the battle belongs to the Lord, and we Sing glooooory, Hoooonor, Power and Strength to the Lord” Which is basically the whole song. I was literally stunned that I would remember this song. But I sang this song almost my entire ride into work…..If I began to start thinking about my upcoming meeting, I would stop and sing. Over and over again, I said the battle belongs to the Lord.

 

I would be lying if I said I went in to my meeting and everything went perfectly. It was hard, emotional, frustrating, etc. But I made it through. And if you read Ephesians 6, it does not say “you wear this armor and you will never lose.” But it does say, “you will stand firm and you will stand strong.”

 

Before today I felt weak, helpless, and tired of life. But now I’m beginning to pick up my armor, put it on slowly piece by piece and for the first time in a long time I am STANDING FIRM.

 

This is my story….what is yours.