Bipolar Christianism
Please excuse me while I continue to explore my faith and this new theory I’ve developed.
Sometimes I feel like I have Bipolar Christainism……anyone else? Some times I look at the world around me and think “Wow what an amazing God who has created all this?” and I praise him like there is no tomorrow. The next day I realize all the hard crap I have to deal with, and I think, “What kind of a God would allow this much on my plate at one time?” I know like most Christians you are thinking…..”Well now Keri….this is not God’s plan it is Satan’s.” Hmmmmm okay, I see your point…..but please tell me the last time you felt overwhelmed and angry and your first thought was…..”oh well, this is just Satan’s plan….God has nothing to do with it.”
Cause we’ve all been taught this….but we’ve also been taught that God has the power to, oh what do they say…..MOVE MOUNTAINS? When will the mountain I’m carrying on my back be moved? Anyone……I’ve got my mustard seed of faith I really do…. And yet nothing.
So what brings about my decision that I have Bipolar Christianism? Well this morning while driving to work. I’m listening to my praise and worship CD, thinking to myself, “Self, you got to Praise the Lord in the time of your struggles.” So I’m listening and singing the songs, I’ve sung my entire life and one minute I’m like singing and happy only to find myself stopping to really think about the words. The song is this, “Blessed be the name of the Lord, blessed be you name, Jesus. You give and take away, you give and take away, you give and take away, Lord Blessed be your name.” So I stop and think AMEN. You gave and you are now taking away. Now my first thought was not, “Blessed be your name.” It was something quite different that I will not put on here!! I’m sorry but I’m a selfish Sinful person who hates it when things are given to me and taken away. How rude!!!!!!!!! I like things given to me and if I choose to give it away great, but I don’t want it taken away from me. I understand about death….I get that. But what about health or love? So really when was the last time you thought about the songs you were singing to the Almighty. Cause there are some I just don’t get!
So does this make me a bad person??? Is there some type of Christian medication I should be taking, perhaps I should read the Bible more, or pray more, go to church more. Perhaps……but why then would people say Christ comes to you in the hard times if you are expected to “do more?”
So here is what I’m thinking. Christianity in our society, is like a drug it’s self. We consider those who seem to have the “spiritual high” to be the “good Christians.” And those who seem content in faith to be lazy. There are highs and there are lows when it comes to faith. But then there are the times in faith, where every single day there is a new emotion. I think, while I call it “Bipolar Christianism,” I think it is being human. Profound? No but Honest? I think so. There are things in life that will move us to realize there is a God and he can do amazing things. There are things in life….that though you study the Bible, pray with out ceasing, tithe constantly, love your enemies, give of yourself to others….There are things in life that will cause you to say…. “If there is a God where is the hell is he?”
Why is it as Christians, we feel the need to defend God….Isn’t he the All Powerful one? Are we so afraid he will fail to answer this question, that when a friend is in need, and hurt, and angry, we feel the need to pat them on the back and say, “It’s okay God is with you, he has a plan…..he is just testing your faith….you know like Job.”
Or how about when a non believer stands up and asks this question we say, “oh they just don’t get it.” Lets be honest there are times in life…….when I, you, everyone….just doesn’t get it.
Ever suffer from Bipolar Christianism? I do.